Regrets or no regrets...

... that is the question

I don't really regret what've done. what've lived. the mistakes I've done, the choices i've made. and that hasn't changed in all this years.

yes, i've been weak. yes, sometimes i really kicked myself for what i'd done. i really messed up last year. and i'm still doing it, if my last actions are of any indication. but even if I feel bad, or broken, or sad, or hurt... i don't regret it. it's, after all, things that i'd wanted to do at the time. I let myself be driven by my passions, mi instincts, my feelings... why should i regret it? even if the results aren't what i wanted or expected, even if i'm hurt afterwards, even if i decide later that i'm never gonna do the same thing twice... why should i regret the action in itself?

i learned a new part of me thanks to it. i learned a new lesson in life thanks to it. I grew, matured... there's no reason to regret that.

my last "action" ('cause i refuse to call it a mistake) was kind of extreme for my feelings. it's not just that the action in itself was passioned, but the feelings that brought back were heartbreakingly strong, and the consequences even more so.

I really suffered this time. I was totally distressed. utterly paranoic. i literaly screamed. almost cried a couple of times. and some other feelings just as strong that i'm not sharing here... i almost throw myself out of the window in desperation.

but i can't get myself to regret what i did. what "we" did, if i'm a little bit more truthful. it's what i wanted, for so long now... and it was beautiful, while it lasted. i now it wasn't suppose to happen, i know it really will and has brought more pain that joy... but still... i can't, and won't, regret it.

i like to think that it's because i'm brave enought to accept and stand the consequences. i know for a fact that i will confront these ones. even if you're afraid of them, i'll stand and take the blows. 'cause... how can i regret the truth? my truth?...

how?...

it's your move now. and i'm gonna accept whichever you choose.

love u


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